Finding it hard to heal after a breakup?
Emotional healing after a breakup is not supposed to be a walk in the park, so it is not abnormal that you are having a hard time moving on. But I can assure you, God’s got your back, and it’s only a matter of time, self-care, and intentionality and you’ll garner up the capacity to heal and move on. Here are some tips I believe can help you.
One. Grieve if you feel like it. A relationship is hard work and you’ve put in quite a lot to make that relationship work. If not for anything, you should grieve for the emotion and time you have invested in the relationship. So, it’s okay to be pained. Take your time to mourn the loss of the beautiful future you had planned with your ex.
Cry if you have to. You have a friend in Jesus, and he will be more than willing to comfort you. God cares about your happiness as much as he cares about your sorrowful moments. So yes! You can find solace weeping in God’s presence. You can pray even while you grieve. You can cry out your pain in the sweet warm embrace of the Holy Spirit. Let the tears drop on your bible while you gaze at God’s promises for your marital destiny.
Two. Do not resent them. I know you are pained but you do not want to lose your relationship with God simply because a relationship with a human did not work. Be intentional about not entertaining resentful thoughts about your ex. All things are working together for your good. If you believe that, you will wish them well while trusting God for the better package He has in store for your future. Resist the urge to wish them evil, and pray for God’s will to be done in their lives.
Three. Disconnect totally. Even if it is temporal, keeping a distance from your ex while you heal will help your emotions heal faster. Contact of any kind with them will take your brain back to the past, bringing memories that may be unhealthy for your emotional healing. You should avoid all forms of communication with them for a while. You should also consider unfollowing or unfriending them on social media.
Four. Express your emotions. Dealing with a relationship breakup comes with overwhelming emotions that you may not be able to deal with on your own. Consider talking to a mature member of your family, your spiritual parents, or a trusted friend. You can as well seek professional Christian therapy and counseling to process your thoughts and emotions during this period. Keeping a journal where you can voice out your feelings to God may also be of help.
Read also, 9 ways to end an ungodly relationship
Five. Be intentional about your physical well-being. During this period, there is every tendency for you to lose your appetite for food, or to eat excessively, but you must be intentional. You lost a relationship, you don’t have to lose your life. While you are taking care of your emotional health, be sure to take care of your bodily health too. Eat good food, keep up with your routine exercises, and get enough sleep. Don’t stay awake all night thinking and weeping over the past. Your physical well-being can contribute to how fast you heal emotionally.
Six. Get busy. To heal faster, you have to get busy with your life. Review your life goals and start working towards them. Get busy with God’s purpose for your life. Read good literature. Listen to sermons. Go for spiritual programs and retreats to grow in your relationship with God. Learn new skills. Progress in your career or business. Apart from distracting you from the pain, focusing on your personal growth will minimize the possibility of damaged self-esteem and self-image, and will help you channel the negative energy towards a positive course.
Seven. Take some time to heal before considering another relationship. Give yourself enough space and time to process your emotions and regain stability. When your emotions are more stable, take out time to review the failed relationship, why it failed, and what lessons God would have you learn from the experience.
Eight. Be patient with yourself. Emotional healing takes time, and it is okay if you find yourself relapsing to tears and sadness. All you have to do at such times is to prayerfully get back up. Always remember that God is just a prayer away. You may feel lonely, but you are never alone. God is with you. Keep your trust in him and you will find yourself gradually moving forward and finding happiness again.
I love you!
Written by: Esther John
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