In this part of Africa, ending a relationship can be tagged something wrong or even a curse. Because of this many people prefer to go ahead and get married to ‘disasters waiting to happen’. To end an ungodly relationship is one of the greatest thing that can happen to you as a believer. It could be disappointing or painful but it will be worth it. Marriage is so powerful that someone’s life can plummet down the drain or rise up to prominence by virtue of the choice of spouse. You certainly do not want to risk settling down with an unbeliever, do you? Check out these seven reasons why you must never marry an unbeliever.
This article is about ending ungodly relationships. But why? Why do believers find themselves entangled in ungodly relationships? Two reasons – It is either an intentional act or a lack of discernment. If you feel wrong about the relationship you are in now, then you should find out exactly why you chose that relationship? Was it an intentional act? Perhaps with the hope that you could change the person? Or just a decision you took out of lack of discernment? Read this lady’s story and learn some lessons before we proceed.
I was headed for trouble and I knew it but I kept walking toward it. I had asked God months before to release me from what had been on my mind heavily for days. God had released me from him. We hadn’t spoken in upwards of four months. But here I was thinking about him, missing “that old thing.” I kept telling myself to let it go but one day before I could talk myself out of it, I texted him.
That text was the beginning of a spiral so quickly moving downward that by the end, my head was spinning and I was dazed. We texted each other every day for weeks like no time had passed between us. I made sure to make mention frequently of my growing connection with God and my celibacy standards according to my faith. He didn’t really respond. I glossed over that telltale sign thinking, “Oh, he understands. He seems like he’s changed, anyway.”
He hadn’t changed because two months into us talking again, we ended up breaking my vow of celibacy (the state of abstaining from sexual relations). I say WE because I was there. I was a willing participant. I had abandoned my standards for the affection of a man who never respected me or my standards to begin with. Silly me. I was overwhelmed afterward, knowing what we had could not continue. He wanted sex and I wanted him but I wanted my relationship with God more. I also knew I had failed God and myself in a promise to honor my temple. How had I gone so wrong? A moment of loneliness caused me to suffer such heartache, pain and guilt and it was my fault. I cried for days and felt like I had failed miserably. But in the midst of it all God’s mercy prevailed.Source: Internet
Discernment is the ability to know the difference between right and almost right. The devil is very sneaky and subtle. He won’t bring to you a man or woman with ‘ungodly’ written over them. The ungodly person the devil will present to a serious believer would be a person that seems right, looks right, says all the right things, and may even be in a position of influence in the church. To discern whether or not the person is right for you, you need to give it time in prayers. Stay away from them until you have a leading from God to engage them. Don’t be afraid to offend anyone by saying you’re praying about them, and you’re seeking God to know their purpose in your life. Don’t be in a hurry to endorse people based on others recommendation.
Now that you have found yourself in an ungodly relationship, how do you get out? The decision to end an ungodly relationship could be quite difficult, but you can pull through it. The first step to freedom is realizing that the relationship is ungodly. Whether you have been in the relationship before you met Christ, or you are a believer who fell into the trap of unequal yoke, the tips in this article will help you end that ungodly relationship right away! If you still have doubts as to whether or not you should end that relationship, then you need to see this, Ideal qualities to look out for in a marriage partner.
9 Ways to break out from an ungodly relationship
- Stop thinking that you or time can change the person!
Beloved, you are not the Holy Spirit neither are you an assistant Holy Spirit. You cannot change any man. Time can not change a man. Only God can change a man. So don’t buy that lie of the devil.
- Understand Why you want to end the ungodly relationship.
Knowing the ultimate reason for calling the relationship quit is paramount. As a child of God, your utmost focus in decision making is to please God. Ending an ungodly relationship therefore is a platform to demonstrate that you care about God and his word. You choose to end the relationship because you want to please God. You want to obey his instruction that says you should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. No matter how good or bad the individual in question might be, you want to look past them and understand that the major reason why you are ending that ungodly relationship is to obey God and do his will even in the area of marriage.
- Strengthen your resolve to end the ungodly relationship.
The feelings that are associated with ending a relationship can be difficult to handle if your resolve is not strengthened before the step is taken. In addition to understanding why you want to end the relationship, you should create time to pray and ask God for strength to do this. Pray that God will break the emotional ties, ask that his divine wisdom will influence the way you go about the whole process.
- Discuss with a Trusted Friend or Christian counselor
Seek a trusted friend or counselor to help process the emotions that are associated with ending the relationship. Make sure the person is a matured Christian who will not try to convince you otherwise or sway your decision but rather encourage you to do the will of God in the area of marriage. Make sure the person is someone you can be accountable to.
- Do not waste any more time in the relationship.
End it right away! Understand that feelings may be hurt. The result may be painful. Be honest about the feelings and do not make any excuses. Now is better than later to end the relationship.
- Delete everything!
Pictures, messages, voice notes, everything that could bring back memories of the relationship. You may not delete the number because you need to know when they’re the one calling so that you can know not to pick. Tell them not to call. Don’t pick. Don’t meet them anywhere. Most people that keep going back to ungodly relationships go back because the person keeps exerting subtle pressure on them. “If I don’t have you in my life, I will backslide”. Please brother, slide all the way to China if you want. We like hearing these things because they appeal to our flesh and our need to be needed. Only the Spirit of God can change a person!
- Disconnect physically.
Avoid the person involved as much as possible. Avoid places that you’ll see them until you’re emotionally strong enough to stand their presence. You need to be ruthless about your future, and know that this person can hinder you from getting all that God has for you. If you have to choose between a person and God, choose God always!
- Resist the temptation to self-pity.
You won’t die if he goes. You’ll make more friends if she stops being your friend. God is too merciful to let your life hinge on one person, especially if you’re not bound to that person by the covenant of marriage.
- Pray now than ever before.
If you’ve both had sex or gone into any sexual activity, pray more. Ask God to break any soul ties or bond that may have existed. Ask Him to keep you from manipulative thoughts that could sway you. Lean on the Holy Spirit and receive strength to heal on time. Continually ask for grace never to be entangled in your past again. Above all, pray now that God will lead and guide you to the right partner for your life in marriage.