Sixteen year old Rosemary visited me two days ago. Her sister with whom she shared a room had accused her. In her own words she said;
“My youth instructor in church always mentioned it along with fornication. She says its a great sin against God. Although I never knew what it meant. I promised myself never to indulge in such grave sins. Not until I woke up this morning and my elder sister accused me of masturbating the previous night.”
Then she looked up at me and said. Aunty Dorcas, please what is masturbation?
Oh my goodness! I thought. How do I explain this to this girl?
Almost immediately I knew what to do.
Then I asked. Rosemary, do you like imagining things?
Oh yes. She replied. Is that what masturbation is? She added
Such an innocent girl, I thought.
No my dear, I’m going somewhere. I replied.
When you’re lost in imagination. Do you feel any sensation?
Not all the time. She replied. But I do when I imagine some stories that I have read or some movies that I have watched.
Good! Would I be correct to say you like romance novels and movies? I asked
Oh yes! How did you know that? I love them.
Oh I see. I said to myself.
After asking more interrogating questions enough to provide me with evidences that I needed. I found out that she was addicted to romance novels and movies. Although she calls them romance, I think it was more than that. Then I asked, did anything happen in your sleep that night your sister was talking about?
Yes. She said. I was imagining a movie in my sleep. And then I felt some pleasurable sensation in my body. It was coming from the downward part of me up into my brain and then my whole body shivered. But in less than three minutes I was back to my normal self.” She said.
Was that the first time this would happen?
Nooooooo she said.
Having confirmed that she engaged in the act, I took her by hand and we went inside my library. It was a small room filled with book shelves with just a chair and a table.
Then I said, you would sit down here and read this book from page 352-354. It was a book on “Sex apart from marriage” by Gary R. Collins – the father of Christian Counseling. When you are done reading, take one A4 paper and summarize all that you’ve learnt. Then you can come to the sitting room to discuss more.
Thank God for that wisdom. It worked!
This were some of the things she extracted and wrote down:
- Masturbation is the stimulation of one’s own genitals usually but not necessarily to the point of orgasm. It is a very common form of sexual arousal apart from marriage.
- Masturbation is not mentioned in the bible. This does not make it right because breaking the link between fantasy and masturbation is almost impossible.
- Most often, masturbation is practiced in conjunction with visual stimulation (especially pornography or other images) or with mental fantasies that often involve images of other people involved in sexual acts. These forms of arousal appear to be the “lusting in one’s heart” that Jesus condemned. The more often this lusting is linked with genital arousal, the firmer is the bond between the two and the harder the bond is to break later, even within marriage.
- From the above, by Jesus’ standard, masturbation involving lust in one’s heart is fornication or adultery as the case may be. Hence eternal life is at stake.
- Although it causes no physical harm, masturbation can be harmful in other ways. It can increase self-centeredness, lower self-esteem, produce guilt and both stimulate and be stimulated by sinful lust.
- Masturbation can be curb by prayer and a sincere willingness to let the Holy Spirit be in control. Understanding the biblical perspective on sex and marriage may also help to control masturbation.
- Masturbation is more likely to be controlled when there are deliberate efforts to avoid pornographic and other sexually arousing materials. Especially valuable is having an accountability relationship with some other Christian or group where there is prayer together and regular accountability reports about one’s masturbation temptations and activity.
So what do you think? I asked scanning through the sheet of paper.
I think my sister was right. I actually did masturbate. I have prayed and asked God to forgive me while I read in the library. Aunty Dorcas, do you think I am forgiven?
Oh yes, you are my dear. Do you mind if I pray with you?
I’ll be glad she said.
After the prayer I handed a book over to her. It’s a book by Lester Sumrall titled “60 things God said about sex”.
Since you have to do away with those romance books and movies, I think you should get busy with this one. Try to read and summarize it. I said.
I will, she said with an innocent look on her face.
Then I thought; isn’t she too young to read that book?
I’ve got the answer.
If she’s not too young to be involved in masturbation and orgasmic pleasure, I don’t think she’s too young to read about it. In a world of improved technology where internet connections are readily available, there’s no point hiding the topic of sex from these young minds. They already know much and its so pathetic that what they know is from a distorted perspective. Godly parents had better see to it that their teenagers understand the biblical perspective on sex before they will be fed with the world’s distorted view.
Lost in the world of pornography and masturbation?
Your eternity is at stake.
But where and whenever sin can be found, grace did much more abound.
Come to Jesus today. He’ll deliver you.
Disclaimer: This is fiction!
FRUITFUL E. JOHN